SEO: my first steps in search engine optimisation

Most people do things like painting, reading or playing computer games in their downtime. I sell scarves. Or rather I try to sell scarves. I have an online scarf shop called Scarf Envy, filled with beautiful neck candy. It looks good, functions well, but if no one knows it's there, those scarves are going to gather virtual dust on their virtual shelves.

See, doesn't it look pretty?

I have dabbled with Google Adwords in the past, but I've put that on hold for a while until I have time to really get to grips with it. I don't want to be spending money on something without understanding why it is or isn't working.

I know that SEO - search engine optimisation - is important. I've read up about it in great detail, even reading a top secret e-book by a supposed SEO guru that was smuggled to me by a friend. I've changed my page titles and rewritten my product descriptions. The result? If you search "scarf envy" I come up first. Big deal.

Sadly, if you search "scarves" or "scarf" my shop doesn't show up even in the first 30 pages of results (I gave up after that and had a cup of tea). Doesn't help restricting to UK results either. Ho hum.

So, I am now setting myself a goal. I want to be in the top 5 pages of UK results by the end of March for "scarves". I'm going to start by changing my page titles, having noticed that the top results all had quite lengthy titles along these lines:

Shop Name | Women's scarves and wraps | Accessories 

Wish me luck and please feel free to pass on any tips in the comments!

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Choose Any Key

We've all seen them - listings on eBay that seem a too good to be true. Someone I know very well (I shan't name and shame them, but feel free to share guesses) fell foul of such a listing yesterday. Not a major disaster considering the cost of the item, but definitely worthy of a poem:

Choose Any Key

Buy It Now, just 99p!
Now, that is a bargain.
Buy It Now, just 99p!
It is the one I wanted...
Buy It Now, just 99p!
OK, I've bought it, it's mine.

Buy It Now, just 99p!
An as-new Mac keyboard.
Buy It Now, just 99p!
3 to 5 days to get here.
Buy It Now, just 99p!
Hang on, the seller's emailed...

Buy It Now, just 99p!
"Trust you read the details?"
Buy It Now, just 99p!
"In which case, please let me know,"
Buy It Now, just 99p!
"Which key it was that you're wanting?"

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Watching trash on TV

I like watching TV. To be more exact, I like watching soaps and English detective programmes. I do enjoy choice shows from the US too, like House and The Big Bang Theory (I urge you to try the latter if you are at all geeky), but if I want to relax and forget about the world, it's EastEnders, Casualty and Lewis that are my escapist pleasures.

With this in mind, here's today's poem:

Trash on TV

I have a confession to proffer, 
It's a cheap little habit, nay free,
But I totally can't stop watching 
all the trash that's on the TV.
I know it isn't terribly highbrow,
But I care not one little jot.
I'd rather be watching EastEnders,
than learning about atoms from Cox.


Yesterday I did the ironing,
In front of old friend, Casualty,
But I got so engrossed in the action.
That I burnt a hole in your T (shirt).
Now come on, don't get all arsey,
It 'twas but an accident.
Next time I'll watch something quieter,
With more of a scholarly bent.


But really, who am I kidding? 
You're out tonight, the plasma's all mine!
I've got the iPlayer primed and ready,
And I'll be square-eyed at least until 9 (or maybe even later). 
Tomorrow I'll buy a TV guide,
And plan something clever to view,
But today I'll eat twiglets and chocolate,
And perhaps watch a Lewis or two.

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